Thirty and a Half Excuses Read online

  Thirty and a Half Excuses

  (Rose Gardner Mystery #3)

  Denise Grover Swank

  Life in Henryetta, Arkansas is turned upside down with the arrival of a televangelist, but it’s the death of a little old lady on Rose’s street that catches her attention. The Henryetta police deem her death natural causes, but Rose suspects foul play and so does an unlikely supporter— the president of the Busy Body Club, her eighty-two year old neighbor Mildred.

  But Rose is in the middle of opening her nursery with her sister Violet, who’s separated from her husband Mike, as well as stalling her boyfriend Joe’s family, rich socialites who are determined to meet her. Along with her multiple encounters with Fenton County’s new assistant DA, Mason Deveraux III, it’s just another day in the life of Rose Gardner—chaos.

  This book is a work of fiction. References to real people, events, establishments, organizations, or locations are intended only to provide a sense of authenticity, and are used fictitiously. All other characters, and all incidents and dialogue, are drawn from the author’s imagination and are not to be construed as real.

  Cover Design: Becca Curtis, Create Solutions

  Developmental Edit: Angela Polidoro

  Copyright 2013 by Denise Grover Swank

  All rights reserved.

  Chapter One

  I had never been more scared in my life.

  Sure, I’d been frightened out of my wits before, like when I was sure Daniel Crocker was going to shoot me or when Jimmy DeWade planned to take me to the woods outside of town and kill me. But after those momentary flashes of terror, my life returned to normal. Well, as normal as my life got.

  This fear had seeped into every cell of my body, and it clung to me day and night, gnawing me from the inside out.

  This time I wasn’t afraid of dying.

  I was afraid of failing.

  “Tomorrow’s gonna be a big day. I think we’re ready.”

  I jumped at the sound of Violet’s voice and spun around. She was leaning on a broom, surveying the abandoned floral shop we’d rented for our business.

  I nodded, trying to swallow. “Yeah.”

  Three months, several hundred thousand dollars, a small business loan larger than both of our houses put together, and lots and lots of hard work had resulted in this moment: the eve of the grand opening of the Gardner Sisters Nursery.

  “We’re still waiting on that shipment for flowering kale, but I think we’re all set with the traditional flowers people expect.” Violet set the broom in the corner and straightened a pot of Kalanchoe that was already perfectly arranged. Her eyes found mine and she smiled. “This is happening.”

  I took a deep breath, feeling like I was about to hyperventilate. “Yeah.”

  When Violet had first mentioned the idea of opening the nursery several months ago, her husband Mike had just announced he was leaving her. I had other plans at the time—I was supposed to move to Little Rock with my boyfriend Joe—so when she asked me to be her partner, it took me a while to warm to the idea. But once I did, I realized I wanted it as much as Violet did.

  Now I was scared to death. There was more than me and my dog Muffy to worry about if the nursery failed. Violet was hinging her two children’s futures on this venture.

  She grabbed my hands and squeezed. “We’re gonna be great.”

  Violet had spent most of her life taking care of me and reassuring me. I’d made tremendous progress over the last four months, but right now I needed my big sister’s support. I nodded. “Yeah, you’re right.”

  She squeezed again. “Trust me. We’ve done our homework. We know what we’re doin’.”

  Violet had done most of the homework. She’d researched her plan for the nursery for over a year before ever mentioning it to me. She was the brains and the backbone behind this venture, and I was the capital, investing the money my birth mother had left me in her will.

  Violet had always poured her all into being a wife and mother. But now that her marriage was failing, she needed to devote her attention to something else. It turned out that she had a head for business, which gave her the confidence to thrive. I’d never seen her happier or more fulfilled. But sometimes I wondered if there was something else making her happy that I didn’t see.

  “You almost done there?”

  I patted dirt around the plants I’d just finished potting. The container was overflowing with fountain grass, pansies, marguerite daisies, and coral bells. “Yeah, I just need to clean up.”

  Violet rested her hand on my arm. “Rose, relax. We’re going to be fine.”

  I searched her eyes and some of the confidence I saw there soothed my nerves. Deep down I believed we would be successful, but I was finding it hard to overcome more than two decades of being told how worthless I was and how I’d never amount to anything. Every time I tried something new my mother’s voice would fill my head, stealing all my confidence and joy. But I’d wasted the first twenty-four years of my life giving her power over me. I wasn’t going to give it to her anymore, even from the grave. I lifted my chin. “I know.” And I meant it.

  Violet dropped her hand and walked to the counter as my peripheral vision began to fade to black. A tingling filled my head, a sure sign a vision was coming on, and I tried to relax—fighting them did no good. I’d had visions since I was a child, and there was no stopping them when they came. Whenever I had a vision, I saw it from the perspective of the person closest to me, a talent that had gotten me into more trouble than most people face in a lifetime.

  Everything faded away, and I was standing in the nursery parking lot, surrounded by a crowd. A man with highlighted, poufy hair and a too-perfect tan shook my hand, his bright-white teeth nearly blinding me. He turned to the crowd and smiled, saying, “As a new member of this community wanting to support local businesses, I’d like to order enough flowers to cover the entire grounds of the New Living Hope Revival Church!” The crowd broke into loud applause.

  As the vision faded away, I blinked. “We’re gonna get a huge order.”

  Violet was bent behind the counter. She stood, her eyebrows lifting. “What?”

  I offered a soft smile. “I just had a vision that Henryetta’s newest minister is going to order enough flowers to cover the grounds of his church.” One of the inconvenient side effects of my visions was that I always blurted out what I saw. Usually I wished I could keep it to myself, but this one I would have wanted to share anyway. Visions containing good news were rare.

  “Jonah Pruitt? The televangelist? Do you know what this means, Rose? The publicity we could get?” Violet squealed and danced in place. “I told you!”

  I inhaled deeply. “My visions don’t always come true, Violet.”

  “This one will. I feel it in my bones.” She put her hands on her hips and cocked her head with a huge grin. “We’re gonna be great!”

  I lifted the pot off the table and set it on the floor. “Funny, that’s what Joe said.”

  “I’ve always liked him.”

  I snorted as I swept the loose dirt on my worktable into a plastic bin. “Yeah, that’s why you set me up on a blind date a couple of months ago while he was in Little Rock.”

  Violet frowned. “We didn’t know anything concrete about Joe then, and he refused to tell us.”

  “Well, you didn’t like him anymore when you pinned him down, and he finally told us about his family.”

  She put her hands on her hips. “And you know darned good and well why. You still haven’t met them, have you? I’m telling you that little Rose Gardner from Henryetta, Arkansas, will not meet the approval of his rich, socialite, political family in El Dorado. Mark my words.”

  “And yet you sti
ll have the audacity to say you always liked him?”

  She laughed. “Okay. I guess he grew on me.”

  “Me too.” I started to fold up the soiled newspaper on the table, when a headline caught my attention. Elderly Woman Found Dead. Leaning over the table, I scanned the article in the week-old paper. “Did you know our old Sunday school teacher, Miss Laura, died last week?”

  Violet’s eyes widened. “What? No! How?”

  I read more before glancing up. “It says they found her dead in her house. Her air conditioner was off. They think she died from heat exhaustion.”

  “That’s so sad. I loved her.”

  Amazingly enough, I did too. She was one of the few people at the Henryetta Southern Baptist Church who had been genuinely kind to me. “Why do you suppose her air conditioner was off?”

  Violet shrugged. “Who knows? You know how miserly old people get. Look at Momma.”

  I resisted a shudder. I always did everything in my power not to think about Momma. “It just seems weird, don’t you think? It’s been hotter than blazes outside. They’re calling it a record heat wave for September.”

  “She probably figured it was autumn, so it was time to turn off the air, temperature be damned.”

  “But her windows were closed…”

  Violet pointed her finger at me with a stern look. “Your problem is now that you’ve had two run-ins with criminals, you think every death is suspicious.”

  My mouth dropped. “That’s not true!”

  “Why, just a couple of weeks ago, you thought that Old Man Hurley’s death needed to be investigated.”

  I scowled. “You have to admit it looked strange. A grown man found dead sitting in his lawn chair in the backyard, not wearing pants.”

  “Lots of old men don’t wear pants. Remember Mindy Draper’s grandpa?”

  I pursed my lips. “He was senile.”

  Violet bent down and grabbed both of our purses and walked around the counter. “You’ve got plenty of trouble in your own backyard is all I’m sayin’.” She handed mine over. “You don’t need to go borrowing more.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  She opened the door and paused. “Nothing. Forget I said anything.”

  I followed Violet outside and waited while she locked up. “What aren’t you telling me?”

  Her mouth twisted to one side as she considered what to say. Finally she lowered her voice. “There’s rumors going around town is all. But don’t you worry about it. That’s what I love about you, Rose. You don’t care what people say.”

  That wasn’t true. I cared plenty. I’d been the topic of Henryetta gossip for as long as I could remember. But there wasn’t a thing I could do about it.

  She kissed me on the cheek. “It’s nothing anyway. I’m the one people should be talking about.” She gave me a wicked smile. “Me and my scandalous almost-divorce.”

  “I thought you and Mike were just separated.”

  Violet ignored my statement, walking away from me. “I’ve got to get home to my babies, and you need to go home and get some rest. We’ve got a big day tomorrow!” Then she hopped into her car and pulled out of the parking lot.

  I watched her drive away before getting into my old Nova and driving toward home.

  When I turned down my street, my heart leapt with joy. Joe’s car was in the driveway. He sat on the front porch with a beer in his hand and a big grin on his face, filling the chair with his tall frame. He’d gotten his dark brown hair cut since I’d seen him on Sunday, his natural copper highlights not so prominent now.

  I parked behind him, barely swinging the car door closed before I ran up to the porch and threw my arms around his neck. “Joe! What are you doin’ here?”

  Joe lived in Little Rock, over a two-hour drive away. We spent every weekend together and only occasional weeknights. It was an unusual occurrence for him to show up on a Tuesday night without warning.

  His arm wrapped around my waist and held me close as he lowered his mouth to mine. He kissed me thoroughly before lifting his head to stare into my face. “Tomorrow’s a big day for you, Rose. Where else would I be?”

  “You came for our grand opening?”

  “Of course. I love you, darlin’. I wouldn’t miss it.”

  I kissed him with all I was worth, certain my elderly neighbor Mildred was at her window with binoculars. She’d probably call the Henryetta Police Department about me fornicating in broad daylight. “You know Mildred’s watching, don’t you?”

  Joe grinned against my lips. “I’m counting on it.”

  I leaned back and swatted his arm. “You’re terrible.”

  A devilish gleam filled his brown eyes, making the scattered dark flecks stand out more than usual. “You know we’re her main source of entertainment. We’ve got to give her something to talk about while I’m gone.”

  My smile fell, my joy short lived. “So it’s official. You’re going undercover?”

  Joe nodded. “I’m sorry.”

  I pushed him down onto one of the chairs and sat on his lap. “Don’t be sorry, Joe. You’re just doing your job.” He’d warned me he had a big undercover job coming up soon. We wouldn’t be able to see each other until he was done. I smoothed an imaginary wrinkle out of his T-shirt, then looked into his eyes. “I knew you were a state police detective when I met you.”

  He grimaced. “Well, not exactly when you met me.”

  “True.” Joe had been undercover then too. He’d moved in next door to me while he was investigating a state-wide car parts ring. Through a host of unusual circumstances, he’d thought I might be involved. But then we became involved in a completely different way, and he ended up saving my life. I saved his too. We’d been together ever since. A little over four months. “But when I found out the truth, I had to accept your job for what it was. It’s what brought us together. I can’t begrudge you for that.”

  Smiling softly, he lowered his face, whispering against my lips. “You’re amazing.”

  I didn’t feel so amazing. Leaning my forehead against his, I searched his eyes. “So how long will you be gone?”

  He pulled back, shaking his head and releasing a long sigh. “I don’t know. Maybe one week, maybe three.”

  He hadn’t even left yet, and I already ached with loneliness. The longest we’d been apart was five days, and that had been almost impossible to bear. “Will we be able to talk on the phone?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe a few times. If I can risk it.”

  “So it’s dangerous then, what you’re doing?”

  He cupped my cheek. “Every day I’m a state police detective is dangerous.”

  Anger singed my chest. “Don’t do that. Don’t pretend like this isn’t a big deal. It is. The last time you went undercover like this you fell in love with me, and you almost got killed. What if…” My voice broke, and I couldn’t finish.

  Joe’s eyes narrowed in disbelief. “What if what? What if I fall in love with someone else?” He shook his head. “Rose, there’s only you, darlin’. Only you.”

  I wish I had more confidence, but I wasn’t sure I’d ever be totally confident where Joe was concerned. He’d always feel out of my league. But this time I was more worried about the dying part. “It’s still dangerous, no matter how you spin it.”

  “I’ll be careful. I love you, and I don’t want to risk losing that.”

  I wanted to say if he really felt that way, he’d never go undercover again. But I didn’t want our last night together to be sad or full of anger, and I knew it wasn’t fair. “You can’t tell me what you’re doing?”

  He shook his head.

  “Can you at least tell me where you’ll be?”

  He hesitated. “El Dorado.”

  I gasped. “Where your parents live.” I let the news sink in. “Will they know you’re there?”

  “No. I have no intention of seeing them anyway.” A few months earlier Joe had confessed that his family came from oil money. He was mostl
y estranged from them, though he hadn’t yet told me why.

  “You’ll have to see them sometime.”

  “The longer I can put it off, the better. My mother keeps calling and insisting that they meet you.”

  The prospect of meeting his parents made me almost as nervous as Joe going undercover. “Do you want me to meet them?”

  “I’d rather put it off as long as possible.”

  I knew Joe didn’t get along with his parents and avoided seeing them, but a small part of me worried that he didn’t want me to meet them because he was ashamed of me.

  “You said you’d have to do your father a favor.” I swallowed my guilt. “Because of me.” When I was on a jury for a murder trial in July, I found out through one of my visions that the defendant was innocent. I started investigating the case on my own to prove what I knew to be true, and after the judge found out, he threw me into the county jail. It took Joe; the Fenton County assistant district attorney, Mason Deveraux III; and apparently Joe’s dad, who wielded political influence, to get me out. Later Joe told me that he was waiting for his father to collect on the favor.

  “Trust me, the favor will be much bigger than bringing you to dinner.” He took a deep breath. “But I’d do it again in a heartbeat.”

  And he would. Joe loved me so much, he’d do anything for me. Which is exactly why I needed to be supportive now. “That’s one of the many reasons why I love you.” I placed a gentle kiss on his lips. “You’re going to do great. You’re going to get the bad guys, and you’re going to shut them down. Or whatever it is you’re doing.”

  He laughed. “You’re more confident than my boss.”

  My smile fell along with my stomach. “Then why are you doing it?”

  His face hardened in determination. “Because it needs to be done.”

  I knew that look. Joe wasn’t usually a stubborn man, but when he’d made up his mind about something, he was going to do it. There was no convincing him otherwise.

  A loud engine revved as a big muscle car sped down the street past my house.

  Joe watched the car pull into the driveway of the house on the corner across the street. “That boy drives too fast.”